this is the greatest thing ever

"drama prairie dog"

the problem with thierry

It just occurred to me that Henry gets paid a mass amount of money for doing basically nothing. In fact, me-thinks Henry is the most overrated player in the universe, with the exception of course being krom from the omega-6c nebula. So, with this said, nothing would bring me more joy than to see Henry finally take up these lovely offers, what the great Jose Morinho would call "silly money", and finally go to Barca, as they have been just dying to get him. In conclusion, i think that arsenal need a striker that is not primarily composed of tinder wood.

"BELLAMY'S JUST A WARM FUZZY," CLAIMS CROUCHIE

In an abrupt departure from the popular misconception of his relationships with his teammates, this snap shows Craig Bellamy running to his Liverpool pal, Peter Crouch, for a consoling hug after a traumatic experience with a mean referee or a missed shot (one of many, no doubt)... Crouchie, known to his mates as "Big Huggee Bear," is obviously prepared to make the "boo-boo" go away, so that Li'l Craiggie can get back to harassing referees, insulting fans, and missing goals.

Says Crouchie: "Li'l Craiggie is SOOOO misunderstood...and this hurts him deeply. He constantly asks in our Male Encounter Sessions, 'Why don't anyone like me? Is it me breath? I bathe weekly, sometimes twice....and I haven't hit any women in at least a week! What is it?'"

{Editor's Note: Could it be his grammar? Or the fact that no one likes Welshmen--even other Welshmen and Welshwomen?}

Continues the "gentle giant," Crouch: " At Liverpool, we're not just a team; we're a psycho-social support group, providing mutual advice and mentoring as team members encounter life's little crises...Craiggie's crisis seems to be somewhat extended, beginning at his birth until right now...Not to worry: Big Crouchie loves li'l Craiggie...If we could just stop that mean ol' Alan Shearer from saying mean things about him..."

ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: WHEN SQUIRRELS ATTACK!

An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.
The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.
With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.
The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.
"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."
The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill. {EDITOR'S NOTE: Or because the squirrel is a "sign" of the coming cosmic conflict? Hmmmm....

THE BLOGSTAFF OF "HAND OF DROG" IS UNABLE TO VERIFY THE SPECIFICS OF THE PHOTO ABOVE...COULD IT BE REASONABLE TO INFER THAT "JEDI SQUIRRELS" HAVE BEGUN TO MOBILIZE, TRAINING TO COMBAT THE COMING REBELLION OF A SATANICALLY-INSPIRED DEMONIC SQUIRREL HORDE? WE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT THESE "GOOD" SQUIRRELS WILL ALLY THEMSELVES "ON THE SIDE OF THE ANGELS"...CJ)

Whats going on with the transfer market

Why is the transfer market so lame this summer? I realize with the worldcup/ballack/sheva craziness of last summer that this year would be some what more subdued, but everything seems to be backwards, or even bizarro if you will. Chelsea purchased an awesome defender in PSV's Brazilian center back Alex for only $1!They are determined not to make the proverbial ass out of themselves this summer apparently. That is a stark contrast to the insane money purges Chelsea embarks upon each summer. I can only hope that they have something ridiculous in mind because, while this is better for their team, it is very boring. Newcastle, under the new management, seems to be up to their old self-destructive antics. I mean, they make a big poo-poo over signing.... JOEY BARTON?! Which team would voluntarily want to sign Joey Barton? That is like asking the FA to go ahead and fine your team for a bunch of zany behavior and horribly violent fouls. This is concurrent with Newcastle's recent desire to crap up their team.
I am sure Liverpool will be very interested in spending some of this new American money. Which means that they are going to sign some sort of dinosaur and suck up their team. Manchester United don't need to do anything as they can rely on the stellar, emaculate performances by Darren Fletcher, John O'Shea, and Alan Smith. : ( I am starting the think that next year, provided that they get rid of Henry, Arsenal will have their year.

SNAKEHEAD FISH SEEN AS PART OF BIBLICAL PROPHECY!

A fish that can survive out of water and eats nearly anything smaller than Chicago has been sighted in Lake Wylie, and state biologists and demon-hunters are asking anglers to watch for another and try to save it for examination.

A fisherman caught a 231-metre, 2,513-pound northern snakehead in the lake near Belmont on May 13, the state Wildlife Resources Commission said. Under its dorsal fin was the inscription "666." In 2002, two snakeheads were reported in Lake Wylie, the first sighting of this legendary creature since St. Bonifacius mentions its presence in the Holy See sometime during the 3rd century.
This time, the fisherman thought it was a bowfin, took a photo of it and released it. Biologists used the picture to identify it and said if another is caught, it should be frozen until a wildlife agent and professional exorcist can examine it.
Biologists said snakeheads can eat most fish, small animals, humans, and townships and spread disease and eternal damnation. The commission said most snakeheads are released in U.S. waters by aquarium owners and demonic entities, such as roving bands of succubi called "Daughters of Oprah." It is illegal in North Carolina to have or sell the fish.

EDITOR'S NOTE: To the upper right is an artist's conception of the danger this fish could cause to underwater craft in Lake Wylie. Could this, then, be the "fish" (maximus piscatorum malificent) suggested in the apocryphal addendum to the Book of Revelations: "And I beheld a pale fish, swallowing a Lexus"? Definitely (fish) food for thought in these "End of Days"...