NESSIE LIVES! SHE'S ALIVE, AH TELL YE...ALIVE!

ACTUAL UNRETOUCHED PHOTO OF NESSIE STEALING LOCAL CATTLE AND SHEEP! *

(*Photo verified by the North Scotland Board of Single Malt Distilleries)

Check it oot, Monsterinos...Conclusive, incontrovertible evidence that NESSIE LIVES! No lang t' noo, laddies! Scots wha' hae!

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/230b/popup/index.php?cl=2891710

IT'S RAINING FROGS (I TOAD YOU THIS WAS FOR REAL! YOU WERE A TAD SKEPTICAL...)

REIGN OF FROGS!

-- In 1873, Scientific American reported that Kansas City, Missouri was blanketed with frogs that dropped from the sky during a storm.

--Minneapolis, Minnesota was pelted with frogs and toads in July, 1901. A news item stated: "When the storm was at its highest... there appeared as if descending directly from the sky a huge green mass. Then followed a peculiar patter, unlike that of rain or hail. When the storm abated the people found, three inches deep and covering an area of more than four blocks, a collection of a most striking variety of frogs... so thick in some places [that] travel was impossible."

--The citizens of Naphlion, a city in southern Greece, were surprised one morning in May, 1981, when they awoke to find small green frogs falling from the sky. Weighing just a few ounces each, the frogs landed in trees and plopped into the streets. The Greek Meteorological Institute surmised they were picked up by a strong wind. It must have been a very strong wind. The species of frog was native to North Africa!

--In 1995, reports Fortean Times Online, Nellie Straw of Sheffield, England, was driving through Scotland on holiday with her family when they encountered a severe storm. Along with the heavy rain, however, hundreds of frogs suddenly pelted her car.

LIVE VIDEO FROM CELTICJACK'S HS REUNION!

Thought you'd like to see an impromptu sing-along from Celticjack's 30th! It's my g-g-g-generation, baby!

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=F4197245-5594-40D7-B533-D27B2AEA9E5C&f=06/64&fg=email

CAMILLA CHOKES ON CORGI!

Following a freak, one-in-a-million accident, Prince Charles's mistress, Mrs Camilla Parker-Bowles, was rushed to hospital yesterday after choking on one of the Queen's corgis.
Mrs Parker-Bowles had been taking afternoon tea with members of the royal family at Buckingham Palace when the incident occurred. Details of exactly what happened remain unclear, but it is believed that the corgi involved was the Queen's personal favourite, Aloysius Ignatius of Windsor, affectionately referred to by members of the royal household as Mr Blobby.

Sources within Buckingham Palace stated that Mrs Parker-Bowles had been standing towards the back of the Afternoon Tea Room next to the pianoforte, when she suddenly began to choke violently. A panicking Prince of Wales unsuccessfully attempted the Heimlich Manoeuvre and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation before Mrs Parker-Bowles was rushed to hospital. It was there that, with the help of a sophisticated PET scanner, staff discovered the corgi wedged in the back of Mrs Parker-Bowles throat.
After a pioneering three-hour corgidectomy operation, believed to be the first of its kind anywhere in the world, the distressed but essentially uninjured corgi was sucessfully removed from Mrs Parker-Bowles' oesophagus.
A relieved Prince Charles told reporters that both dog and mistress were recovering well.

MYSTERY OF EXPLODING TOADS BAFFLES GERMAN SCIENTISTS!

Toads in an area of northern Germany are being killed off by a mysterious disease - they are exploding.
Thousands of the amphibians have died in recent days in a pond in Hamburg's Altona district, with their bodies swelling to bursting point.
The toads' entrails are propelled for up to a metre (3.2ft), in scenes that have been likened to science fiction.
Scientists are baffled. Possible explanations include a unknown virus or a fungus in the pond.
"You see the animals crawling on the ground, swelling and then exploding," German conservationist Werner Smolnik told AFP news agency.
The bodies of the toads expanded to three and a half times their normal size, he said.
"I have never seen such a thing," AFP quotes veterinarian Otto Horst as saying. The site - which has been dubbed "the pond of death" - has been closed to the public.
The exploding toads have also crossed the border north into Denmark, according to Danish Radio.
It reported that a large number of toads that live in a pond near Laasby in central Jutland have started to suffer the same fate as the German amphibians.
The toads crawl onto the land, swell up and explode in the middle of the night, the radio said.

Update:
Mystery solved. We're obliged to those readers who sent us the breathless news that today's Der Spiegel says crows have been fingered as the culprits. Apparently the crow pecks a small hole in the toad to get at the liver. The toad begins to inflate itself - its normal defence mechanism - but because there is no separation between lung cavity and abdomen, the poor blighter keeps on expanding until it goes pop. That's the gist of it, at least. We're going to conclude by noting that if you tried to make this up, your friends would probably advise you to seek professional help.

a modest proposal

I need someone to explain stargate to me, I am too lazy to actually investigate this on my own. The future of the human race depends on this.

jsummers07@gmail.com

west ham united is an enemy of god

Remember early on in the season, West Ham were running middle of the table, Zamora was scoring, all seemed as it should for the time being. And then all was not as it should as they exploded into a unrelenting media frenzied Argentinian love fest. New owners claimed the club would be the biggest in the world after this season and Carlos "Caveman" Tevez would beat out any ronaldo which the world could produce to win every accolade. Alan Pardew seemed up for the task, besides his obvious dislike for any player not British. Then it all went wrong. How did it happen? I will tell you: West Ham United have been smote (word?) by god for their delusions of grandieur. They flew too close to the sun with wings made of wax and Argentine pastries.

I remember saying at the worst point, "West Ham can't go down, they have too much quality". Bah! Although my prophecy ending up being true, my belief that the hammers are in fact being punished by some omnipotent divine entity rings truth. It still continues... Tevez may have used his dark magic to get west ham out of relegation trouble, but the black plague still hangs like a cloud over the heads of those players.

tv party tonight!

.... because we have nothing better to do!

Peter Crouch pumping up for the big game by eating smaller players

This came to me in a dream... How come every time Crouch wants to kick some ass somebody like Michael Carrick has to get in his way?

Drog unveiling new 'do' at FA Cup final

Christiano beware, someone is after your "too sexy" status. Wait... does this mean that Mourinho is Saruman, would that make SAF Gandolf? I always thought that Rooney was hobbit-esque. Giggs can be Aragorn and Paul Scholes can be Gimli...Yes this is coming together nicely... All this and more on Sunday.

extrasolar planet deemed habitable.... Bush announces plans to invade

Gliese 581 c. is theorized to be within a "habitable zone", with temperatures and an atmosphere much like Earth.
Says Earth: "There can be no other".

http://exoplanet.eu/planet.php?p1=Gl+581&p2=c

get ready to feel the.....BANG!!! ... in a week...

What you gunna do brother? When Liverpool FC runs wild on you.

bjork...make good nation of Iceland

Bjork's new album Volta is extremely awesome. I don't know which co-producer is more effective Timbaland or a volcano, but this is certainly an eerie sound experiment into the great unknown.

Reading to get a Cisse... confusion ensues

Shame on you Soccernet. You have fooled me and my kind for the last time with your gripping but ultimately misleading article-link intros. Reading apparently is closing in on signing a cisse, not this cisse, but a different cisse, a Kalifa cisse. Don't worry original cisse, we know who you are.


http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=430665&cc=5901

Come on feel the....... AGGERRRG!

Daniel Agger has had a great season. His performance against chelski was phenomenal. So great in fact, that Dirk Kuyt could kiss you.

Come on feel the..... DrOG

The man, the myth, the hand... this is a ridiculous picture. The Drog cares not for the joy of sheva.