A fish that can survive out of water and eats nearly anything smaller than Chicago has been sighted in Lake Wylie, and state biologists and demon-hunters are asking anglers to watch for another and try to save it for examination.
A fisherman caught a 231-metre, 2,513-pound northern snakehead in the lake near Belmont on May 13, the state Wildlife Resources Commission said. Under its dorsal fin was the inscription "666." In 2002, two snakeheads were reported in Lake Wylie, the first sighting of this legendary creature since St. Bonifacius mentions its presence in the Holy See sometime during the 3rd century.
This time, the fisherman thought it was a bowfin, took a photo of it and released it. Biologists used the picture to identify it and said if another is caught, it should be frozen until a wildlife agent and professional exorcist can examine it.
Biologists said snakeheads can eat most fish, small animals, humans, and townships and spread disease and eternal damnation. The commission said most snakeheads are released in U.S. waters by aquarium owners and demonic entities, such as roving bands of succubi called "Daughters of Oprah." It is illegal in North Carolina to have or sell the fish.
This time, the fisherman thought it was a bowfin, took a photo of it and released it. Biologists used the picture to identify it and said if another is caught, it should be frozen until a wildlife agent and professional exorcist can examine it.
Biologists said snakeheads can eat most fish, small animals, humans, and townships and spread disease and eternal damnation. The commission said most snakeheads are released in U.S. waters by aquarium owners and demonic entities, such as roving bands of succubi called "Daughters of Oprah." It is illegal in North Carolina to have or sell the fish.
EDITOR'S NOTE: To the upper right is an artist's conception of the danger this fish could cause to underwater craft in Lake Wylie. Could this, then, be the "fish" (maximus piscatorum malificent) suggested in the apocryphal addendum to the Book of Revelations: "And I beheld a pale fish, swallowing a Lexus"? Definitely (fish) food for thought in these "End of Days"...
2 comments:
I was wondering what this picture was about
Hmmm...I was under the impression that it's an artist's rendition of a Snakehead attacking a submarine in Lake Wylie...I have evidence that it's already taken place several times and the authorities are squelching news accounts...If you doubt this, ask yourself: When was the last time you heard about the submarine fleet in Lake Wylie? (Hums, taps nose for emphasis)
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